ASKING FOR HELP

After my newsletter last month, I received such an incredible outpouring of love and support from friends, family and strangers. I hadn’t written the post as a cry for help. It was more of an honest blurb on how life had changed and how instagram is not, at all, reality.

Thanks to my candid update, people reached out to me in ways I would never have expected.

Firstly, I was invited to a mom's circle by Cary from Holding Mama.

Then, a friend gently convinced me to seek support from someone that had been a great help to her postpartum.

On top of that, I had an open discussion with my husband about things that needed to be addressed with regards to helping us (me) cope.

Thanks to the above, the 'Madi juggle' has felt a little easier as I have ventured into June. I have welcomed the new month feeling a lot more empowered thanks to the abundance of support that has found its way to me this past month.

At the weekly mom's circle with Cary, I met women who have each experienced a different journey into motherhood. However, as personal as each journey might be, we all share common struggles, mom guilt, fears and doubts. It’s amazing how freeing some open, honest discussion with strangers (now friends) can be! (The chocolate croissants didn’t go amiss either!)

So much of what is portrayed online is not in fact reality, and no one other than a mom herself can explain what this journey is really like.

If you are battling with something, I am sure you would share the same sentiment. It is not until we travel a road ourselves, that we can fully understand it. This applies to motherhood, entrepreneurship, long distance, financial dependance; and everything in between.

Realising that you are not alone in how you feel brings a level of comfort that you can’t find unless you bite the bullet and get honest.

It's in pulling off the band-aid and exposing ourselves that the wounds start to heal.

I have been living in a place that convinced me that my only option was to grin and bear it. I was under an illusion that required me to live at the same pace as I did before Madi. With friends, social activities and work. But the reality is, I can't.

It took reaching out to understand that it’s ok to admit that things aren’t as lovely as a summer breeze. It’s ok to get real with yourself and with others. It’s ok to be honest and not let the pressure to be perfect control your narrative. It’s ok, to not be ok.

In fact, it was only when I started sharing my feelings that I realised everyone actually prefers reality. Life is not a perfect cup of tea.

Asking for help has meant relinquishing control, trusting someone else, listening, being open to change and being honest with myself about what is working and what is not. Asking for help is not the easy way out, but it is entirely necessary if I am to make any headway.

I read a quote this month by Nikita Gill. It said:

"Someone I loved deeply once told me that the absolute refusal to ask for help, even when you are in agony, is rooted in trauma and we have been conditioned to look at it as strength."

I can 100% relate to this. It didn't make me feel strong to suffer in silence, although I hoped it made me look that way. There is a vast difference between feelings and appearances. But I finally see that I am making headway. Not only did I get stuck into my emotions with a mom circle that I had never met before, but I made an active step to get more help! Help has meant relinquishing control. Trusting someone else. Listening. Being open to change and being honest with myself about what is working and what is not.

Would I recommend it however? One hundred percent.

"Someone I loved deeply once told me that the absolute refusal to ask for help, even when you are in agony, is rooted in trauma and we have been conditioned to look at it as strength." - Nikita Gill

It's in pulling off the band-aid and exposing ourselves that the wounds start to heal.

I implore you to shift your attention to the good that can come from reaching out. Trust the process of asking for help. Prioritise your feelings rather than try to portray a narrative of triumph. Lastly, focus on the small wins, the little changes and the freedom that comes with getting honest. It is here that you will discover the road to a happier, healthier you.

Here's to an exciting new month and a very belated note from the editor.

All my love,